While I was away on my honeymoon, my dad had a counseling session with my brother. Apparently it did not go well. When I asked my dad about it, he launched into a tirade of complaints largely consisting of, “Fuck that rehab.” My dad has got it into his head that he will create a new business, and following my brother’s exit from rehab, he will teach my brother the trade. He does not care if that’s what my brother wants to do or if his plan is not in line with the plans my brother is developing with the rehab staff. He is stubbornly adamant that the only possible way to keep my brother sober is to have him under constant surveillance while teaching him how to run a business. When my brother’s counselor shared my brother’s plans with my dad and mentioned that starting a business fresh out of rehab was probably not the best plan, my dad immediately attributed this to the rehab’s “12-step bullshit.”
My brother called me yesterday and I informed him that our father was intending to write him a letter saying something along the lines of, “I’m sorry that I could not afford to get you into a non-12-step rehab and that they are forcing you to develop all of these bullshit plans. Because I paid for your rehab, you are obligated to come work with me to pay me back.” My brother already has his fair share of issues with my dad. He just started speaking to him again within the last six months. As you can imagine, he is not keen on the idea of being under my dad’s overbearing direction.
As we were talking about this, my brother seemed down…more so than usual. When I started asking how he was doing, all of a sudden his counselor jumped on the phone. Without my knowing, she had been quietly listening to the whole situation. The counselor wanted to tell me that during the session between my brother and our father, my dad’s own history of substance abuse issues came up. Unsurprisingly he had disregarded this as any kind of attributing factor to my brother’s issues and responded very negatively to any suggestions that he himself receive counseling.
Thanks for that perspective, but what the fuck? I felt so intruded on and personally violated by finding out that what I had believed to be a personal conversation with my brother was actually some sort of covert information gathering attempt by my brother’s counselor. I think my dad’s perspective of “fuck that rehab” is a little extreme, but seriously fuck that counselor.