We will probably never know for sure, but we think the relapse began about 4 months ago. My brother’s communications became more and more infrequent, and then suddenly we were in full-on crisis mode again. This time when my brother reached out for help, a friend had OD’d in his bed, he had gotten his new girlfriend pregnant, and he was telling us that he wanted to die. The positives were that he still had his car, his job, and he hadn’t blown his probation yet. I convinced him to come dry out at my house yet again.
Four days after coming to my house he met with his probation officer. He passed the drug test, but my brother’s pregnant girlfriend had called the PO and told him that my brother had been using. When questioned about the use, my brother didn’t deny it. The PO left him in limbo about what might happen to him. Having my brother at my house became worse than ever before.
It was like he wasn’t even a person anymore. There was nothing left of the brother I used to know. I drove him to work and back to help him maintain his sobriety, but he would go to his room the second he got home, stay up all night, and then go to bed the second he heard my husband and I wake up in the morning. He refused treatment, he refused to speak to someone about his depression, and then he even refused to help me carry groceries into the house (I’m 6 months pregnant). I let him know that he was welcome to keep staying in my house, but that I couldn’t keep driving him to work if he wasn’t willing to help me it at all.
Three days ago I dropped him off at work for the last time, and he never came home. He left most of his things here. He hasn’t tried to contact me. He told my mom that living with me was worse than living in his car. I haven’t tried to contact him. I can’t keep chasing someone that won’t accept help.